“Bean” quotes

(1997)
Movie Bean
Title Bean
Year 1997
Director Mel Smith
Genre Comedy, Adventure
Plot – A wealthy American philanthropist has been able to bring the most famous American painting back to California from Europe. For this reason the Grierson Gallery asks the Royal National Gallery in London to send their most esteemed scholar to Los Angeles to oversee and present the event. The British however send Mr. Bean, their most inept and unbearable employee, who is also protected by the Director. In Los Angeles, Mr. Bean is the guest of David, the gallery assistant, but his presence brings havoc to the peaceful family, who cannot stand his irritating manners. The director leaves Bean alone in the room and he damages the painting beyond repair, managing to put it back in order just in time for the inauguration. Called to speak, Bean comes up with some strange speech that stirs the approval of those present. Then Bean improvises himself doctor to treat the daughter of David who has been hospitalized. The family is therefore reconciled with him and Bean, after exchanging gifts with them, leaves for England.
All actors – Rowan Atkinson, Peter MacNicol, John Mills, Pamela Reed, Harris Yulin, Burt Reynolds, Larry Drake, Danny Goldring, Johnny Galecki, Chris Ellis, Andrew Lawrence, Peter Egan
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  • They'll say, "No, no, no, firing's not good enough. Let's prosecute you for negligence". I go to jail, my wife leaves me, my daughter becomes a prostitute, I wind up on death row sharing a cell with Butch McDick!
    Peter MacNicol - David Langley
  • “I've got nothing against Jon Bon Jovi. The man has had two great hairstyles in the last ten years, which is an achievement not to be sniffed at.”
    Peter MacNicol - David Langley
    [Tag:hair, musicians]
  • “I don't know the difference between Picasso and a car crash.”
    Burt Reynolds - General Newton
    [Tag:art]
  • “- Lt. Brutus: Mr. Bean, are you presently on any kind of medication?
    - Mr. Bean: Not that I know of.
    - Lt. Brutus: You certainly could use some.”

    Richard Gant - Lt. Brutus
    Rowan Atkinson - Mr. Bean
    [Tag:health]
  • - David Langley: Kevin, you know how sometimes you ask me questions that I can't answer.
    - Kevin Langley: Yeah, like "What is an intrauterine device?".
    - David Langley: I think more like "What's the meaning of life?".
    - Kevin Langley: I never asked you that.

    Peter MacNicol - David Langley
    Andrew Lawrence - Kevin Langley
  • “Families are very important and Even though Mr. Whistler was prefectly aware that his mother was a hideous old bat who looked like she'd had a cactus lodged up her backside, he stuck with her, and even took the time to paint this amazing picture of her. It's not just a painting. It's a picture of a mad old cow who he thought the world of.”
    Rowan Atkinson - Mr. Bean
  • “- David Langley: What exactly is your position at the gallery?
    - Mr. Bean: I sit in the corner and look at the paintings.
    - David Langley: Ach! That is brilliant! If only more scholars would do that, not lecture and write and argue, but just sit and look at the paintings themselves. Now that is brilliant.”

    Peter MacNicol - David Langley
    Rowan Atkinson - Mr. Bean
    [Tag:art, learning]
  • “My job is to sit and look at paintings. So, what have I learned that I can say about this painting? Well, firstly, it's really quite big, which is excellent. because If it were really small, you know, microscopic, then hardly anyone would be able to see it. Which would be a tremendous shame.”
    Rowan Atkinson - Mr. Bean
  • “All Englishmen are ugly. I just look at Prince Charles and weep.”
    Tricia Vessey - Jennifer Langley
    [Tag:ugliness]
  • “- Lt. Brutus: He's a genius, huh?
    - David Langley: That's what they tell me.
    - Lt. Brutus: Well, he looks like a fruitcake to me.”

    Richard Gant - Lt. Brutus
    Peter MacNicol - David Langley
  • “I've given my life to art and from here on in, the only art I will get anywhere near are the pictures I draw on the pavement hoping passersby will throw nickels in my hat. I guess the long on the short of it: I wish I'd never been born.”
    Peter MacNicol - David Langley
    [Tag:art, despair, failure]
  • “- Kevin Langley: I can't sleep. I can't stop thinking about naked women. What about you?
    - Mr. Bean: Whistler's Mother.
    - Kevin Langley: Well, whatever turns you on!”

    Andrew Lawrence - Kevin Langley
    Rowan Atkinson - Mr. Bean
Highlights