“- Himmel Shank: Don't flatter me.
- Pestario 'Pest' Vargas: Ok, your feet stink, your nose is point and your mother dresses you funny!”
Edoardo Ballerini - Himmel Shank
John Leguizamo - Pestario 'Pest' Vargas

“- Ry: You look beautiful today.
- Glauren: You look like shit.”
Ryan Dunn - Ry
Jennifer Rivell - Glauren

“- Donna Newman: That's not bad for your third liposuction. One more tummy tuck should take care of it.
- Michael Newman: Oh, it looks like a tongue... licking.”
Kate Beckinsale - Donna Newman
Adam Sandler - Michael Newman

“You look in the mirror, you don't like what you see, don't believe it. Look in my eyes, I am the only mirror you're ever gonna need.”

William H. Macy - Bernie Lootz

“Man, that chick has got body karate.”
Phillip Glasser - Max