“- Kevin Rawley: I speak from the heart, off the cuff, like my man, JC at the Sermon on the Mount. I think that's what you've always admired about me.
- Greg Focker: Well, I got news for you. You're not Jesus.”
Owen Wilson - Kevin Rawley
Ben Stiller - Greg Focker

“If I didn't have to hate her, I'd adore her.”
Julia Roberts - Julianne Potter

“Yo… You got the juice now, man.”

“You know, Sir, I do admire you, and I sure would like to touch the gun that's gonna kill Billy the Kid.”
Emilio Estevez - William H. 'Billy the Kid' Bonney

“- Coach Gary Gaines: So how is it out there?
- Ivory Christian: They're fast, they're big, they're dirty... plus they're fast.
- Coach Gary Gaines: You said that already.”
Billy Bob Thornton - Coach Gary Gaines
Lee Jackson - Ivory Christian