“- Richard Twat: I trust you two both washed.
- Mr. Johnson: Actually, the water was cold.
- Richard Twat: That's no reason not to wash, is it? Good grief, we are British, you know. We invented cold showers to stop people masturbating. Oh, I see, maybe that's why you are so upset about the lack of hot water.”
Rik Mayall - Richard Twat
Bill Nighy - Mr. Johnson

“Elyse, you think Matt is an arrogant jock who wears his penis on his forehead just to gain the approval of his sociopathic older brother. And Matt, you think Elyse is an uptight, geeky prude who needs to, uh, loosen up a bit and get laid.”
Eugene Levy - Mr. Levenstein

“Louie brought his new girlfriend over, and the nicest thing I can say about her is all her tattoos are spelled correctly.”
Dolly Parton - Truvy Jones

“There's a place in my heart for the one I love best, and I still have her picture tattooed on my chest.”

Spencer Tracy - Manuel

“- Violet: That's a great tattoo. Beautiful labrys. Are you surprised I know what it is?
- Corky: Maybe.”
Jennifer Tilly - Violet
Gina Gershon - Corky