“Down Periscope” quotes

Movie Down Periscope
Title Down Periscope
Year 1996
Director David S. Ward
Genre Comedy
Plot – Captain Thomas Dodge's lifetime dream is to be able to take command of a nuclear submarine. When the opportunity comes up and Dodge is mentioned for promotion, some big guns of the High Command blanche, horrified. The captain is regarded by his superiors as extravagant and reckless.
All actors – Kelsey Grammer, Lauren Holly, Rob Schneider, Harry Dean Stanton, Bruce Dern, William H. Macy, Ken Hudson Campbell, Toby Huss, Duane Martin, Jonathan Penner, Bradford Tatum, Harland Williams
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  • “I'm a dedicated pain in the butt.”
    Bradford Tatum - Stepanak
  • “- Marty Pascal: Buckman! There was a fingernail in my food, ya fat ass moron! Yesterday, it was a band-aid!
    - Buckman: Sorry, sir. The band-aid was holding the fingernail on.”

    Rob Schneider - Marty Pascal
    Ken Hudson Campbell - Buckman
    [Tag:dirt, food]
  • “- Tom Dodge: Men, at ease. I'd like to introduce you to the newest member of our crew, Lt. Emily Lake. Emily is part of a pilot program to test the feasibility of women serving on submarines. She's going to be our diving officer.
    - Stepanak: Can she do a one-and-a-half inward back in the layout position?
    - Tom Dodge: All right, look,...” (continue)
    (continue reading)
    Kelsey Grammer - Tom Dodge
    Bradford Tatum - Stepanak
    [Tag:navy, soldiers]
  • “- Marty Pascal: Jesus, Buckman! This stuff's been on the Stingray since Korea! This can expired in 1966!
    - Buckman: [tasting contents of can] What's the matter, sir? It still tastes like creamed corn.
    - Marty Pascal: Except it's deviled ham!”

    Rob Schneider - Marty Pascal
    Ken Hudson Campbell - Buckman
  • “- Buckman: The name's Buckman.
    - Nitro: Uh, Nitro, hi.
    - Buckman: Interesting nickname, what's your real name?
    - Nitro: Nitro.
    - Nitro: I'm working on a nickname, though.
    - Buckman: Oh yeah?
    - Nitro: Yeah. Listen to this... Mike.”

    Ken Hudson Campbell - Buckman
    Toby Huss - Nitro
  • Now, call me a prude if you want, but I don't think it's good policy for the Navy to hand over a billion-dollar piece of equipment to a man who has "Welcome Aboard" tattooed on his penis.
    Bruce Dern - Admiral Graham
  • “- Marty Pascal: You're stocking the pantry like an idiot! What are in these cans?
    - Buckman: That one's coffee, and that one looks like cooking lard, sir.
    - Marty Pascal: And which one do you think we're gonna be using more often, sailor? The coffee or the lard? You think we're all gonna jump out of bed in the morning and have a big, hot,...” (continue)
    (continue reading)
    Rob Schneider - Marty Pascal
    Ken Hudson Campbell - Buckman
    [Tag:coffee, food, morning]
  • “- Stepanak: Polishing the ol' torpedo sir?
    - Tom Dodge: Shut up Stepanak.
    - Stepanak: Thank you sir. It's good to be noticed.”

    Bradford Tatum - Stepanak
    Kelsey Grammer - Tom Dodge
  • “- Tom Dodge: What do you think about our boat, Pascal?
    - Marty Pascal: I feel I need a tetanus shot just from looking at it. The only thing holding her together, are the bird droppings, sir.”

    Kelsey Grammer - Tom Dodge
    Rob Schneider - Marty Pascal
    [Tag:craft, old age]