If anyone had a clue how wrong it felt to be sober, they wouldn't dream of asking you to stay that way. They would say "oh geez, I didn't know. It's okay for you. Do that mound of cocaine. Have a drink".
Steve Buscemi - Cornell

“- Jeff Dunham: Will you please tell these people I don't abuse drugs?
- Peanut: Okaaay! [turns to the audience] Jeff does not abuse drugs.
- Jeff Dunham: Thank you.
- Peanut: He's an alcoholic.”
Jeff Dunham - Himself
Jeff Dunham - Peanut

“Somebody’s pulling me close to the ground. I can sense, but I can’t see. I ain’t panicked, I been here before.”

Al Pacino - Carlito

“I've seen this back in the Dakotas. They can smell fear just by lookin' atcha.”
Jim Varney - Jebidiah Allardyce 'Cookie' Farnsworth

“- Sharon Pogue: When you said that we were supposed to meet, what did you mean by that, it sounds a little too Psychic Friends Network like?
- Steven 'Catch' Lambert: It means that one's senses are attracted to a particular odour of another person and it draws the person to them.”
Jennifer Lopez - Sharon Pogue
Jim Caviezel - Steven 'Catch' Lambert