“- Dorian Montier: I'd like to be the father-to-be.
- Sally Jackson: You can't be the father and the brother! That's the kind of thing that messes kids up!”
Luke Wilson - Dorian Montier
Drew Barrymore - Sally Jackson

“- Kyle Pratt: So you have any kids?
- Fiona: Do nieces count?”
Jodie Foster - Kyle Pratt
Erika Christensen - Fiona

“- Ellen Griswold: Clark, let's just skip the house of mud. I think Dodge City was enough fun for one day. Besides, Catherine and Eddie are expecting us.
- Clark Griswold: It's living history Ellen. But if you'd rather see your cousins. Personally I'd rather see a pile of mud than Eddie.”
Beverly D'Angelo - Ellen Griswold
Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold

“My father, your son... Holy cannoli, you are my sister!”
Dana Carvey - Pistachio Disguisey

“He's not my dad, he's my stepdad!”

Simon Pegg - Shaun