“Honey, it was my idea. Ah, you know how it is at the hotel, all the reporters and the fans all the time, this is great. Oh it's just me, Roger, and Cerv. Hey, you look kind of sexy in that. No, there ain't no girls here, it's Roger! He wearing a stupid little girlie apron, cooking up some bacon.”

Thomas Jane - Mickey Mantle

“Don't let people lie to you: hostels are for the ugly.”

Kip Pardue - Victor

“- Richard Gecko: Well what do they got?
- Seth Gecko: They have four walls and a bed and that's all we need.”

Quentin Tarantino - Richard Gecko
George Clooney - Seth Gecko

“I dream of being in a Las Vegas hotel where all of the towels smell like Downy Fabric Softener.”
Cameron Diaz - Freddie Clayton

“If there's no room at the Hotel Genius, I'll take a room at the Hotel Imbecile.”
Roberto Benigni - Driver - Rome