“- Phil: Aw, Jesus, Bernie. Come on with the smoke. You know the doctor found nicotine in my urine again.
- Bernie White: Then keep your dick out of my ashtray.”
Jack Kehoe - Phil
Robert Duvall - Bernie White

“- Kara: Could you go then, honey, 'cause I've got this headache.
- Brendan: Try smoking like a chimney, I've heard that helps.”
Meagan Good - Kara
Joseph Gordon-Levitt - Brendan

“- Max Conners: Have you any idea what that meat is doing to your arteries?
- Page Conners: Haven't you heard? Cigarettes dissolve cholesterol.”
Sigourney Weaver - Max Conners
Jennifer Love Hewitt - Page Conners

“- Max Conners: He doesn't look so bad in this light.
- Page Conners: His liver spots are positively glowing.”
Sigourney Weaver - Max Conners
Jennifer Love Hewitt - Page Conners

“It's proven that second-hand smoke is carcin... you know, cancer related.”
Steve Buscemi - Carl Showalter