“- Alden Pyle: Have you had a lot of women, Thomas?
- Thomas Fowler: You start out by being promiscuous and end up like your grandfather... faithful to one woman.”
Brendan Fraser - Alden Pyle
Sir Michael Caine - Thomas Fowler

“You know what the twenties are for? Having sex with all the wrong people. Not to get married.”
Bette Midler - Lilly Leonard

“At your age, you're going to have a lot of urges. You're going to want to take off your clothes, and touch each other. But if you do touch each other, you will get chlamydia... and die.”
Dwayne Hill - Coach Carr

I'll never forget what my Uncle Moe said about little girls. He said, "officer, she said she was 18!".
Billy Crystal - Buddy Young Jr.

“- Elvin Clyde: Who did you go as?
- Peter Appleton: A horny young man.”
Bob Balaban - Elvin Clyde
Jim Carrey - Peter Appleton