“- Charlie: I put him in the septic tank.
- Gus: Who?
- Charlie: The corpse.
- Gus: What corpse?
- Charlie: The reverend's corpse.
- Gus: He wasn't a corpse when I left him, Charlie.”
David Schwimmer - Charlie
Simon Pegg - Gus

“- Gus: Did you know that the priest was alive when you killed him?
- Charlie: No!
- Gus: There you go then!”
Simon Pegg - Gus
David Schwimmer - Charlie

“- Matt: Isn't part of the priestly thing giving relationship advice?
- John: Relationship advice, yes - sex advice, no. Part of the priestly thing is not to have sex, remember?
- Matt: It's funny. I didn't say a thing about sex. I guess thinking about sex is part of the priestly thing, at least for some.”
Josh Hartnett - Matt
Adam Trese - John

You think all Buddhist monks are like the Dalai Lama? There are guys in Nepal who are like, "What should I do? Should I carry packs of heavy shit for Westerners up to the top of the base camp on Mt. Everest, or should I stay down here in Katmandu and maybe just chant all day and check out chicks and pretend to be holy?".
Donal Logue - Dex

“- Seth Gecko: What are you, Jacob? A faithless preacher? Or a mean motherfuckin' servant of God?
- Jacob Fuller: I'm a mean, mhm mhm servant of God.”
George Clooney - Seth Gecko
Harvey Keitel - Jacob Fuller