- Beatrice Stanhope: Arthur, I wish you would do something about all these monkeys. I feel like Jane Goodall.
- An Ape Named "Ape": Madam, I knew Jane Goodall and you are no Jane Goodall.

Holland Taylor - Beatrice Stanhope
John Marwood Cleese - An Ape Named "Ape"

“- Detective Marcus Burnett: [over the radio] Mike! There's a papa rat humping the shit out of this mama rat. No, he's straight pile-driving her!
- Detective Mike Lowrey: Now, how is that information gonna help me do my job?
- Detective Marcus Burnett: They fuck just like us!”
Martin Lawrence - Detective Marcus Burnett
Will Smith - Detective Mike Lowrey

“- Terk: What kind of animal are you?
- Tantor: You know, I've been thinking lately that Tarzan may be some sub-species of elephant.
- Terk: Are you kidding... What are you talking about?
- Tantor: I mean, think about it. He enjoys a peanut, I enjoy a peanut...
- Terk: He looks nothing like you!”

Rosie O'Donnell - Terk
Wayne Knight - Tantor

“John's always been able to talk with animals. I used to think it was a handicap, but it's not; it's a gift. Sometimes, daddies are the ones who need to change.”

Ossie Davis - Archer Dolittle

“- Doc Hopper: Maybe this frog does everything. He talks, he sings, he dances, he tells jokes, he even rides a bicycle. Max, find me a frog and a bear in a tan Studebaker.
- Max: Gee, Doc, all I can see is a frog and a bear in a rainbow-colored Studebaker.”

Charles Durning - Doc Hopper
Austin Pendleton - Max