“- Hal: I bet on horses sometimes, but I don't really care about the money.
- Rosemary: I never read that book.
- Hal: What book?
- Rosemary: Things losers say.”
Jack Black - Hal
Gwyneth Paltrow - Rosemary

“He got over his gambling problem, but the bookies beat him to death anyway. So, he's dead. That's it.”
Norm MacDonald - Mitch Weaver

“- Mitch Weaver: Dr. Farthing, what happened to your arm?
- Dr. Farthing: Well, it was either from sleeping on it the wrong way or bookmakers throwing me out of a speeding car.”
Norm MacDonald - Mitch Weaver
Chevy Chase - Dr. Farthing

“- Kate: You lost your birthright... in one hand of poker.
- Luc Teyssier: I'm an asshole, what can I tell you?
- Kate: Uh-huh. So that's why he hates you and you hate him.
- Luc Teyssier: Oui... that and I slept with his wife.”

Meg Ryan - Kate
Kevin Kline - Luc Teyssier

“- Jamaal: Lee Harvey, what's the diameter of a chicken egg?
- Lee Harvey: 4.08 centimeters.
- Jamaal: No, no, what's that in inches?
- Lee Harvey: 1.61, man, what the fuck you gettin' at, man?
- Jamaal: I got ten bucks saying I can squeeze a chicken egg up his ass without it breaking.”
Anthony Anderson - Jamaal
Mongo Brownlee - Lee Harvey