“- Anna Crowley: You are so much less attractive when I'm sober.
- Walter Fielding: Thank goodness it's not that often.”
Shelley Lee Long - Anna Crowley
Tom Hanks - Walter Fielding

“You're just like Jimmie described you... a schemer and a charmer.”

Laila Robins - Kate Rainwood

“- Itchy Itchiford: In him there's the luck of the Irish.
- Charlie B. Barkin: The pride of the German.
- Itchy Itchiford: Even, he-he, a bit of Siam.
- Charlie B. Barkin: Siam? There's the calm of the English.
- Itchy Itchiford: The charm of the Spanish.”
Dom DeLuise - Itchy Itchiford
Burt Reynolds - Charlie B. Barkin

“- Eddie Valiant: Seriously, what do you see in that guy?
- Jessica Rabbit: He makes me laugh.”

Bob Hoskins - Eddie Valiant
Kathleen Turner - Jessica Rabbit

“- McBryde: Before we begin, I'd like to state what I believe to be a universal truth: the darker races are attracted to the fairer, but not vice-versa.
- Amritrao: Even when the lady is less attractive than the gentleman?”

Michael Culver - McBryde
Roshan Seth - Amritrao