“- Doreen: Kids, where's your father?
- Wally's daughter : He's upstairs masturbating to gay porn.
- Doreen: Again?”
Kevin McDonald - Doreen
Erica Fairfield - Wally's daughter

“Me and my wife had a great sex life, we use to have sex once a week. but then she died... then it was 3 or 4 times a week.”
Danny Murphy - Mr. Murphy

“- Ted Foster: I thought that if you wanted to marry a girl you were supposed to ask her father.
- Harry C. Thomas: You must be talking about some other father, some other family. Not a family with only one father and three daughters. Nobody asks him anything. He's lucky if he gets told.”
John Shelton - Ted Foster
Frank Morgan - Harry C. Thomas

“Who's the lucky, soon-to-be-dead son-in-law?”
Mel Gibson - Martin Riggs

“- Baroness Laginsky: I knew your father when he was young.
- George Sand: Really?
- Baroness Laginsky: Yes. We girls were enraged when we heard he'd married that dancer, or whatever she was.
- George Sand: You mean my mother?”
Elizabeth Spriggs - Baroness Laginsky
Judy Davis - George Sand