John C. McGinley quotes
“Excuses are like assholes, Taylor, everybody got one.”
- Davis "Rig" Lanlow: Hey, Kareem, do you know that Charlie and I had originally intended to come up here and cap your punk ass. And your girlfriend, Nick, but shit, you two muffins did such a nice job with this financing, who could think about killing at a time like this?
- Terrance Paul Davidson: Thanks, your approval means a lot!
“You've been wrong so many times that I'm not even going to say something is wrong anymore. I'm going to say that it's 'Dorian'.”
“I swear, that young man has killed so many people, I'm starting to think he just might be a government agent.”
“I love this moment so much, I want to have sex with it.”
“Oh, my God! I just gagged and vomited at the same time. I gavomited.”
“Have you listened to yourself lately! Have you? Everything with you is I-I-I! There is no I in team! It is t-e-a-m. Team!”
“- Pappas: Let me tell you something, Harp. I was in this bureau while you were still popping zits on your funny face and jacking off to the lingerie section of the Sears catalog. But there's something I've learned in all my years...
- Ben Harp: Why don't you astonish me, shitbrains.
- Pappas: Respect for my elders!”
“- Ben Harp: Special agent Utah! This is not some job, flipping burgers at the local drive-in! Yes! - your surf board bothers me! Yes! - your approach to this whole damn case bothers me! And yes! - you bother me! And Pappas! Oh, for the love of Christ. How the hell did I even let you talk me into this whole bone-headed idea to begin with.
-...” (continue)(continue reading)
“Barry and I worked together for over seven years and whenever you threatened him over the air, man he would stick it right back in your face. It was like his dick was flapping in the wind and he'd like to see if he could get an erection. The guy had a little dick but he liked to flap it out there. Then they cut it off, so now he's dead. I don't...” (continue)(continue reading)
“Nick, I like you like this. You and your prom date both having weapons. That way I don't have to kill an unarmed couple. Not my style.”
“If you don't like the heights, don't climb mountains!”
“- Ben Harp: You know nothing. In fact, you know less than nothing. If you knew that you knew nothing, then that would be something, but you don't.You're a real blue flame special, aren't you, son? Young, dumb and full of cum, I know. What I don't know is how you got assigned out here in Los Angeles with us. Guess we must just have ourselves an...” (continue)(continue reading)
“- Pappas: Don't ride him in with the black and whites like some punk, let me ride him in.
- Ben Harp: Yeah sure, Angelo, why not? That is why I put you 2 screw-ups to begin with. You deserve each other, don't you? You're just as bad as he is, though you're a little fatter, a little slower and a little more pathetic. For Christ sake, it's like...” (continue)(continue reading)
“- Con McCarty: Oh, you simple bitch, I'm covering your ass. Do you hear me? I'm covering your ass.
- Jack Carter: You'd better cover your own ass.”
“You know when a sweet mouth girl like you has a fancy case like this a man gets to thinking; where's a wallet? I'm gonna need that wallet, Alice. Where's that big fat wallet? Give it to me. Give me your fucking wallet you little bitch.”
“We find it's always better to fire people on a Friday. Studies have statistically shown that there's less chance of an incident if you do it at the end of the week.”
“Hey Oppenheimer! Oppenheimer! You ought to stop playing God, because you're not good at it, and the position's taken!”
“- Harp: You think the taxpayers would like it, Utah, if they knew they were paying a federal agent to surf and pick up girls?
- Johnny Utah: Babes.
- Harp: What?
- Johnny Utah: The correct term is babes, sir. Uh, this type of undercover operation is entirely dependent on picking up the idiom of the speech. Otherwise penetration is not possible,...” (continue)(continue reading)
- Davis "Rig" Lanlow: Nick, are you aware that there are only two kinds of people on the whole planet? There are killers and then there's everybody else. I'm the killer, Nick, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, what are you, Nick?
- Nick Beam: I'm married!
- Davis "Rig" Lanlow: Charlie, this shit is depressing the shit out of me. It's making me sad.
- Charlie Dunt: What? Oh come on, man, this shit is the shit. This is the shit. It's supposed to make you sad.
- Davis "Rig" Lanlow: It's grim.
- Charlie Dunt: Oh come on, man, this is the shit. This shit is the shit. This is the hellified love music.