“When a girl tells you how many guys she's slept with, multiply it by three and that's the real number. Didn't you fuckers learn anything in college?”
Seann William Scott - Stifler

“- Jack O'Callahan: Why'd you wanna play college hockey?
- Ralph Cox: Isn't it obvious? For the girls.”
Michael Mantenuto - Jack O'Callahan

“The problem with dating dream girls is that they have a tendency to become real.”

Nicolas Cage - Yuri Orlov

“- Matthew: We get along great, we laugh together, we like the same music, the same sports, we get along just great.
- Soda Shop Counterman: Then what's the problem?
- Matthew: She don't know I'm a boy.
- Soda Shop Counterman: Kid, with this girl, I don't know what you're doin', but you must be doin' it wrong.”

Jonathan Brandis - Matthew
E.D. Tyree - Soda Shop Counterman

“The whole thing with girls - its painful. And it seems like it keeps getting more painful instead of easier.”
Tim Daly - William 'Billy' Howard