“I really have to keep an eye on myself, because sometimes I think I might say something important.”
Leslie William Nielsen

“If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?”
Steven Alexander Wright

“Tales of my toughness are exaggerated. I never killed an actor.”
John Huston

“If I had my life to live all over again - and I would not want to - I would take love more seriously than I was taught to take it as a kid. I would not throw myself in every corner with any girl I meet. For the rest, I feel I've done the best I could, considering I was born to be a workingman.”
Maurice Chevalier

“I want to be a jerk like the rest of my friends, and have fun, and not care about the consequences, but I just can't now.”
Leonardo DiCaprio