“- Recruiter: Have you ever been convicted of a felony or a misdemeanor? That's robbery, rape, car theft, that sort of thing.
- John: Convicted? No.
- Russell: Never convicted.”

William Lucking - Recruiter
Bill Murray - John
Harold Ramis - Russell

“If I go back to jail they gonna make me a woman!”

Tracy Morgan - LeeJohn

“I don't want to go to jail because there are robbers and rapers and rapers who rape robbers.”
Richard Pryor - Gus Gorman

“- David Walsh: Tell me the world is a fair place.
- Mr. Gartin: It's not, and try to remember that while your ass bleeds as you're being passed from nigger to wop in the showers at San Quinton.”

Matt Dillon - David Walsh
Peter Jason - Bill Gartin

“- Peter: In the joint, did you get butt-fucked?
- John Booth: It only hurts the first time.”
David Baerwald - Peter
David Morse - John Booth