“- Head Illinois State Trooper: I don't want to tell you how to do your job...
- Samuel Gerard: Put the helicopter on the bridge!
- Head Illinois State Trooper: But only one man in a million can survive that fall. The guy is fish food.
- Samuel Gerard: Fine. Go get a cane pole, catch the fish that ate him.”

Danny Goldring - Head Illinois State Trooper
Tommy Lee Jones - Samuel Gerard

“- Nonnie Parker: Are you saying we should cross the Kalahari? That's impossible.
- Xhabbo: Wind can do it, we can do it.”
Reese Witherspoon - Nonnie Parker
Sarel Bok - Xhabbo

“Juries can sometimes be very stupid, and it's just as well not to worry them with more evidence than they can conveniently deal with.”
James Stephenson - Howard Joyce

“They can prove that Hammond came to your house at your urgent invitation. I don't know what else they can prove, but if the jury comes to the conclusion that you didn't kill Hammond in self-defense...”

James Stephenson - Howard Joyce

- "Wishy": If I'm the one that gets killed, get twenty-five beautiful girls to walk around me.
- "Doc": Why?
- "Wishy": If I don't get up, then you know I'm dead.
Lou Costello - "Wishy"
Bud Abbott - "Doc"