“I have a report here that says that the Chicken Ranch is involved with and under the influence of organized crime. I myself am gonna take this report to Austin in the hopes that the governor himself will come out of his long silence on this issue and uphold the law.”

Dom DeLuise - Melvin

“- Anthony 'Tony' Cortino: Gianini... any Sicilian in you?
- Pepper Gianini: Not since last night.”
Jay Mohr - Anthony 'Tony' Cortino
Pamela Gidley - Pepper Gianini

“- Simone: Sometimes they fall for what they think I am.
- George: And what do they think you are?
- Simone: What you think. A black whore.”
Cathy Tyson - Simone
Bob Hoskins - George

“What planet are you from, sugar tits? Saturn with the rings around your head?”

Penn Fraser Jillette - Bone

“- Rob: This is the Governor's wife!
- Deke Halliday: You mean she's not the hooker?
- Baxter: I told you not to wear those heels, darling.”
Dennis Dugan - Rob
Dick Shawn - Deke Halliday
Sir Michael Caine - Baxter