“Cannonball Run II” quotes

Movie Cannonball Run II
Title Cannonball Run II
Year 1984
Director Hal Needham
Genre Comedy, Action
Plot – A fake sheikh, actually the son of a mob boss, is giving away a staggering prize to the winner of a car race from Redondon Beack - the Californian Las Vegas - to Connecticut. All sort of romps, gags, cliches, grotesque incidents, loud stories, ridiculous abductions, incredible obstacles, appearances and disappearances of the fabulous "prize" - which is likely to fade out – happen during the competition, but Frank Sinatra – playing himself – will guarantee a happy ending to this messed up story.
All actors – Burt Reynolds, Frank Sinatra, Jamie Farr, Dom DeLuise, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr., Marilu Henner, Telly Savalas, Shirley MacLaine, Susan Anton, Catherine Bach, Foster Brooks
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  • “- Morris Fenderbaum: I've been called a lot of things but I had never been called a commie.
    - Jamie Blake: I'm not even a democrat!”

    Sammy Davis Jr. - Morris Fenderbaum
    Dean Martin - Jamie Blake
  • Here is to good luck. May it all be mine.”
    Jamie Farr - The Sheik
    [Tag:luck, toasting]
  • “- King: How come you have a blond, blue-eyed slave?
    - The Sheik: He's an actor. Hasn't had a series in seven years.
    - The Slapper: Nine.”

    Ricardo Montalban - King
    Jamie Farr - The Sheik
    Doug McClure - The Slapper
    [Tag:actors, slavery]
  • “- King: I order you back to America to win the Cannonball Run. I give you one last chance because you are my only son with a driver's license.
    - The Sheik: But, pop, there is no Cannonball Run this year.
    - King: So, buy one.”

    Ricardo Montalban - King
    Jamie Farr - The Sheik
    [Tag:driving, money]
  • “- Jamie Blake: We're gonna race to Connecticut and the one that wins gets a million dollars in cash.
    - Tony: Only a moron would back up a race like that!”

    Dean Martin - Jamie Blake
    Alex Rocco - Tony
    [Tag:challenge, money]
  • “- Captain Chaos: J.J... Long time, no see.
    - J.J. McClure: Nice to see you, Captain Chaos.”

    Dom DeLuise - Captain Chaos
    Burt Reynolds - J.J. McClure
    [Tag:greeting, meeting]
  • “- King: I warn you. Tomorrow's race is the last Cannonball I am financing. If you do not win, do not bother to come home.
    - The Sheik: Father, don't worry! I can't lose! I have hired the winner of this Cannonball to be my co-driver in the next one. I would like you to meet him. I have told him so much about you.”

    Ricardo Montalban - King
    Jamie Farr - The Sheik
  • “- J.J. McClure: What line did you say you were from?
    - Betty: The Order of Imaculate Chastity.
    - Victor: The Order of Imaculate Chastity? I read the Bible all the time. In fact, I once read the bible that was printed on the head of a pin. That was hard. But, I've never heard of the Order of Imaculate...
    - Veronica: You have to read the New...” (continue)
    (continue reading)
    Burt Reynolds - J.J. McClure
    Marilu Henner - Betty
    Dom DeLuise - Victor Prinzim
    Shirley MacLaine - Veronica
  • “- Jill, Lamborghini Babe: It'll be a weekend you'll never forget.
    - Mechanic: All three of us?
    - Marcie, Lamborghini Babe: It's gonna be a weekend you can tell your kids about. If they're all boys.”

    Susan Anton - Jill, Lamborghini Babe
    Catherine Bach
    [Tag:proposals, sex]
  • “- Jamie Blake: We're gonna die. We're gonna die, we're gonna die. What do you think they're gonna do to us?
    - Morris Fenderbaum: I don't know what they're gonna do to you, but since Mr. T ain't here, I'll be too busy licking their boots to see.”

    Dean Martin - Jamie Blake
    Sammy Davis Jr. - Morris Fenderbaum
    [Tag:death, servants]
  • “When I make a dry martini, I make a dry martini.”
    Dean Martin - Jamie Blake
  • “- Don Canneloni: The Rigatonis, the Tortellinis, the Fettuchinis, and even the Raviolis are bigger than we are. And why?
    - Tony: High interest rates.
    - Sonny: Acid rain.
    - Slim: Japanese imports.”

    Dom DeLuise - Don Canneloni
    Alex Rocco - Tony
    Michael V. Gazzo - Sonny
    Henry Silva - Slim
    [Tag:comparison, crime]
  • “- Don Canneloni: In the past, the Canneloni family was the most powerful of the families. We controlled drugs, prostitution, extortion, prostitution, gambling...
    - Slim: Uh, you said 'prostitution' twice.
    - Don Canneloni: Well, I like it.”

    Dom DeLuise - Don Canneloni
    Henry Silva - Slim
  • “- Tony: We've put our heads together, and we've decided we're gonna rip off the Arab, on the road, during the car race.
    - Don Don Canneloni: Oh, you put your heads together, huh? It must've sounded like a bowling alley.”

    Alex Rocco - Tony
    Charles Nelson Reilly - Don Don Canneloni
  • “- Fisherman #3: What are you boys trying to pull?
    - J.J. McClure: There's been a nuclear meltdown and we're transporting some contaminated materials to Connecticut.
    - Fisherman #3: Well, why Connecticut?
    - J.J. McClure: They ran out.”

    Louis Nye - Fisherman #3
    Burt Reynolds - J.J. McClure
    [Tag:america, waste]
  • “My aunt Millie took a vow of chastity. She had headaches all the time.”
    Dom DeLuise - Victor Prinzim
    [Tag:chastity, disease]
  • “- Hymie Kaplan: Friend or foe?
    - Arnold: Guess.”

    Telly Savalas - Hymie Kaplan
    Richard Kiel - Arnold, Mitsubishi Driver
    [Tag:enemy, friends]
  • “- J.J. McClure: I need a girl.
    - Victor Prinzim: Yeah, me too.
    - J.J. McClure: You?
    - Victor Prinzim: Sure. Hey, J.J., I'm not a eunuch, you know.
    - J.J. McClure: Of course you're not a eunuch. Don't put yourself down like that. You have a striking resemblance to a eunuch but... just kidding.”

    Burt Reynolds - J.J. McClure
    Dom DeLuise - Victor Prinzim
    [Tag:girl, need, ugliness]
  • “- Marcie, Lamborghini Babe: Does it look bad?
    - Mack: Not from where I'm standing.
    - Jill: Oh, can you fix it then?
    - Mack: Honey, I've got a tool that'll fix anything.”

    Catherine Bach - Marcie, Lamborghini Babe
    Joe Theismann - Mack
    Susan Anton - Jill, Lamborghini Babe
  • “For one thousand centuries, the Falafel Family has ruled the deserts with one thing: speed! We had the fastest camels and the fastest horses. And now, due to... you, know what we have the fastest planes, the fastest boats, and the fastest cars. Except for one: yours! Last year, I sent you to America for one simple task. So simple. To emblazen...” (continue)(continue reading)
    Ricardo Montalban - King
    [Tag:failure, losing, speed]