“- Maurice Doyle: Daddy, where's the carriages?
- Desmond Doyle: Santa was a bit strapped for cash this year. Costs a lot of money to feed those elves, you know.”

Hugh McDonagh - Maurice Doyle
Pierce Brosnan - Desmond Doyle

“Hello? Who? Oh. Listen, bitch, I'll get the kid a few toys for Christmas, so don't bug me! Yeah, I know it's only a few days till Christmas, what do you think? Think I live under a rock or something?”

Bob Jones - Grover

“That Naughty-Nice List that you got? There's no naughty kids, Nick. They're all good kids. But some of them are scared. And some of them don't feel listened to. Some of them had some pretty tough breaks too. But every kid deserves a present on Christmas.”
Vince Vaughn - Fred Claus

“- Agnes Smith: Rose, what did you get me for Christmas?
- Rose Smith: You'll find out tomorrow.
- Agnes Smith: I hope it's a hunting knife!”
Joan Carroll - Agnes Smith
Lucille Bremer - Rose Smith

“- Carol: Someone tracked down and bought all those wonderful antique toys.
- Scott Calvin: Probably someone that knows his way around eBay.”

Elizabeth Mitchell - Carol
Tim Allen - Scott Calvin