“- Jimmie Shannon: Just give me the damn symbolic vaginas.
- Marco: You are sick!”
Chris O'Donnell - Jimmie Shannon
Artie Lange - Marco

“- Melanie Parker: Your Peter Pan complex is so 90's.
- Jack Taylor: What Peter Pan complex?
- Melanie Parker: The one you're so proud of.
- Jack Taylor: Do you have any friends?
- Melanie Parker: I don't have time for friends.
- Jack Taylor: That's because of your Captain Hook complex.”
Michelle Pfeiffer - Melanie Parker
George Clooney - Jack Taylor

“- Clive Durham: I am more sorry for you than I can possibly say and I do, do beg you to resist to return on this obsession.
- Maurice Hall: I don't need advice. I'm flesh and blood Clive, if you'll condescend to such low things. I've shared with Alec.”

Hugh Grant - Clive Durham
James Wilby - Maurice Hall

“- Eugene Morris Jerome: Don't hate me for what I'm going to say.
- Stanley: What is it?
- Eugene Morris Jerome: I think Aunt Blanche has a great ass.
- Stanley: They're gonna lock you up in a sex asylum. If I was your sister I wouldn't sleep on the same block as you!”
Jonathan Silverman - Eugene Morris Jerome
Brian Drillinger - Stanley

“- Max: She's a nymphomaniac!
- Lucas: She likes to start fires?”
Jacob Tremblay - Max
Keith L. Williams - Lucas