Joe Pesci quotes
“It's a procedure. Like rebuilding a carburetor has a procedure. You know, when you rebuild a carburetor, the first thing you do is you take the carburetor off the manifold? Supposing you skip the first step, and while you're replacing one of the jets, you accidentally drop the jet, it goes down the carburetor, rolls along the manifold, and goes...” (continue)(continue reading)
“Froggy was my friend and I really loved him, and I took him everywhere with me, and I was riding on my bike one day and he jumped out of the box, and I ran him over with the back tire. I killed him. I was really heartbroken. Really, he was my best friend in the whole world; the only thing I ever loved.”
“- Vinny Gambini: Lisa, I don't need this. I swear to God, I do not need this right now, okay? I've got a judge that's just aching to throw me in jail. An idiot who wants to fight me for two hundred dollars. Slaughtered pigs. Giant loud whistles. I ain't slept in five days. I got no money, a dress code problem, and a little murder case which, in...” (continue)(continue reading)
“It should have been perfect. I mean he had me, Nicky Santoro, his best friend watching his ass. And he had Ginger, the woman he loved on his arm. But in the end, we fucked it all up. It should have been so sweet, too. But it turned out to be the last time that street guys like us were ever given anything that fuckin' valuable again.”
“I never made it to the sixth grade, kid. And it doesn't look like you're gonna, either.”
“- Nicky Cerone: What is that? Mozart?
- Belinda Capuletti: Scales.
- Nicky Cerone: Never heard of him.”
“I think in all fairness, I should explain to you exactly what it is that I do. For instance tomorrow morning I'll get up nice and early, take a walk down over to the bank and... walk in and see and, uh... if you don't have my money for me, I'll... crack your fuckin' head wide-open in front of everybody in the bank. And just about the time that...” (continue)(continue reading)
“- Simon Wilder: The beauty of the Constitution is that it can always be changed. The beauty of the Constitution is that it makes no set law other than faith in the wisdom of ordinary people to govern themselves.
- Prof. Pitkannan: Faith in the wisdom of the people is exactly what makes the Constitution incomplete and crude.
- Simon Wilder:...” (continue)(continue reading)
“- Vinny Gambini: What about these pants I got on, you think they're ok? Oh!
- Mona Lisa Vito: Imagine you're a deer. You're prancing along, you get thirsty, you spot a little brook, you put your little deer lips down to the cool clear water... bam! A fuckin' bullet rips off part of your head! Your brains are laying on the ground in little bloody...” (continue)(continue reading)
“You might be demonstrating a failure to show appreciation.”
“- Jeffrey Hawks: Holy Shit!
- Simon Wilder: You think so? Looks like the regular garden variety to me.”
“- William: You know what I could never figure out about the Mummy? The Mummy used to walk with one arm out and a leg draggin' behind him, but he was still always able get his victim. I'm thinkin' as a kid, I was pretty fast, I'd just, ya know, put some moves on the Mummy and the Mummy, he'd never get me.
- Jimmy Alto: This is what you're...” (continue)(continue reading)
“- Jake La Motta: She says he's pretty.
- Joey LaMotta: Yeah, well, you make him ugly.”
- Gus Green: It could be worse.
- Joe Waters: Hey Gus, please don't say that. 'Cause it can't get any worse. I'm so sick of everytime we get in trouble or something goes bad, we think of, like, worse situations just so we can say "This ain't so bad, it could be worse". Gus, the truth is, it can't get any worse.
“- Louie Kritski: Why is that you have twenty-four different kinds of pork rinds and you only have one kind of peanut butter?
- Cashier: Because we don't get too many fussy little white pricks in here.
- Louie Kritski: Okay.”
“- Saleslady: May I help you?
- Monty Capuletti: No, we're just browsing.
- Saleslady: How long do you intend to browse?
- Monty Capuletti: That lady over there, you didn't ask her how long she's going to browse.
- Saleslady: You don't look like browsers.
- Nicky Cerone: Yeah, what do browsers look like?
- Monty Capuletti: Yeah, maybe I'm half...” (continue)(continue reading)
“- Jake La Motta: I'm gonna ask you again: did you or did you not?
- Joey LaMotta: I'm not gonna answer that. It's stupid. It's a sick question and you're a sick fuck and I'm not that sick that I'm gonna answer it. I'm leaving, If Nora calls tell her I went home. I'm not staying in this nuthouse with you. You're a sick bastard, I feel sorry for...” (continue)(continue reading)
“Winners forget they're in a race, they just love to run.”
“- Louie Kritski: You want your electricity fixed? Move. Check into the fucking Plaza, just gimmie the rent Lady!
- Eleanor: Look at my boy. How's he supposed to do his schoolwork at night? By candle light?
- Louie Kritski: Lincoln did. Hey, maybe he'll grown up to be president, what the fuck do I know? Just gimmie the rent!”
“- Joseph Palmi: Let me ask you something... we Italians, we got our families, and we got the church; the Irish, they have the homeland, Jews their tradition; even the niggers, they got their music. What about your people, Mr. Wilson, what do you have?
- Edward Wilson: The United States of America. The rest of you are just visiting.”
“- Louie Kritski: Obviously it's unusually cold in the building today. Not necessarily due to a malfunction of our boiler.
- Ron Nessim: That piece of shit it totally gone!
- Louie Kritski: You can't prove that.
- Leotha: Prove it? My parakeet is frozen solid. I could crack walnuts with him!”