“- Young Bobby Boucher: Mama, when did Ben Franklin invent electricity?
- Helen 'Mama' Boucher: That's nonsense, I invented electricity. Ben Franklin is the Devil!”
Jamie Williams - Young Bobby Boucher
Kathy Bates - Helen 'Mama' Boucher

“Did I ever tell you about the time I invented snowboarding? I don't want credit for it, but they just keep giving it to me.”
David Koechner - Stumpy

“Medical books aren't written about losers!”
Laurence Fishburne - Thrax

“- Worm pill scientist: I've invented a pill that gives worms to ex-girlfriends.
- Don Roritor: Uh, right, and what's positive about that?
- Worm pill scientist: Well, it's a pill that gives worms to ex-girlfriends.”
Bruce McCulloch - Worm pill scientist
Mark McKinney - Don Roritor

“- Reporter #1: Dr. Kellogg, how did you come to invent the corn flake?
- Dr. John Harvey Kellogg: The corn flake, sir, is just one of my 75 creations for heathy livin', among them peanut butter and the electric blanket.”
Rich Valliere - Reporter #1
Philip Anthony Hopkins - Dr. John Harvey Kellogg