My mother said to me: "When your father gets home, he's going to shoot you in the face with a bazooka! And I'm not going to stop him this time, either! You know, he's always wanted to kill you! The day you were born, he said: kill it! I stopped him from killing you for eleven years... and this is the thanks I get for saving your life!".
Bill Cosby - Bill Cosby

“Back, back, back. How fucking far back do you go? My mom and dad were divorced before I was two, and from that on my father was almost uninvolved in my life, and my mother much too involved. She wanted to make up for all her mistakes through me.”
Christina Ricci - Elizabeth

“- Trixie Young: I think your dad likes my mom. Usually when a guy does that, I hit him with a car and I knock him down the stairs, I've gotta look out for her. But your dad, he doesn't bug me so much.
- Junior Healy: And you know something? Your mom doesn't bug me so much.”
Ivyann Schwan - Trixie Young
Michael Oliver - Junior Healy

“It's me own fault, Swee'Pea's been kidnapped. Olive was right. Even an orphan needs a mutter and a father. If I was gonna be Swee'Pea's mutter, I should've at least let Olive be his father. Or viska versa. I ain't man enough to his mutter.”

Robin Williams - Popeye

“- Dashiki: Now kids, what do we say to a man that Mommy just met?
- Kids: Are you my daddy?”
Tracey Cherelle Jones - Dashiki