“- Jock: My name is Jock. I'm the groom. I was under Lord Morley's command in India. He had my tongue cut out...
- Inspector Winship: Just a second. What did you say?
- Dr. Tart: He said that his name is Jock. He was under Lord Morley's command...
- Inspector Winship: Will you shut up?
- Dr. Tart: That's what he said!”
“You know what she always used to say? She said if you had another brain you'd be lonesome.”
“- Mr. Uwatsum: How about a nice bowl of fish eyes?
- Inspector Winship: Will you pardon me, please?
- Mr. Uwatsum: Ah... Do you like hummingbird cookies?
- Dr. Tart: No, thank you.”
“Look at that house. That's bigger than that hometown I grew up in.”
“- Gas Station Attendant: Do you know you got stuff all over your face?
- Dr. Tart: Huh?
- Gas Station Attendant: You got stuff all over your face.
- Inspector Winship: He's oiling his brain.”
“If Jock could talk, he'd give you a clue. But now that he's dead, what can you do? He deserved what he got, I don't regret it a bit. By the way, you're standing in bull ca-ca.”
“- Justin: I am Justin, the butler. I was accused of killing my wife and her lovers. But Lord Morley, bless him, convinced the authorities it was a case of justifiable insanity... and I've served him happily... ever since...
- Dr. Tart: How many lovers did your wife have?
- Justin: Thirteen.”
“- Inspector Winship: How could Lord Morley write us after he was already dead?
- Dr. Tart: Right! You know what? Maybe whoever killed Lord Morley wrote that letter.
- Inspector Winship: If you killed Lord Morley would you write to someone and ask them to find the killer?
- Dr. Tart: Are you saying I killed Lord Morley?
- Inspector Winship: No!...” (continue) (continue reading)