“The most honest moment in a man's life are the few minutes after he's blown his load; now that is a medical fact. And the reason for it is that you're no longer trying to get laid, you're actually... you're thinking like a girl, and girls love that.”
Chris Elliott - Dom

“Imagine how many people out there are fuckin' right now man, just goin' at it.”
Rory Cochrane - Slater

“- Hedley Lamarr: Think of your secretary...
[the pen goes straight in]
- Governor William J. Le Petomane: Thank you. That's a good one.”

Mel Brooks - Hedley Lamarr
Mel Brooks - Governor William J. Le Petomane

“- Betty Childs: Are all nerds as good as you?
- Lewis: Yes.
- Betty Childs: How come?
- Lewis: 'Cause all jocks ever think about is sports, all we ever think about is sex.”

Julia Montgomery - Betty Childs
Robert Carradine - Lewis

“- Lola: Who would have thought? Slow starter then turns out to be a genius in bed! Ladies and gentlemen, Nick Marshall is a sex God!
- Nick Marshall: Oh, yeah.”

Marisa Tomei - Lola
Mel Gibson - Nick Marshall