“- Mrs. Kidman: Do these girls go to your high school?
- Eli: No, Mrs Kidman. They're porn stars.”
Donna Bullock - Mrs. Kidman
Chris Marquette - Eli

“- Jake Wyler: So listen, you ever wondered what it'd be like to be the most popular girl in school?
- Janey Briggs: You mean anorexic, superficial, a bitch, a whore who lacks any real long-term goals?”
Chris Evans - Jake Wyler
Chyler Leigh - Janey Briggs

“Welton Academy, hello. Yes, he is. Just a moment. Mr. Nolan, it's for you. It's God. He says we should have girls at Welton.”

Gale Hansen - Charlie Dalton

“College girls have three times more sexual partners than a regular girl.”
Gary Wolf - Snake

“This is public school. If I can keep the girls off the pole and the boys off the pipe, I get a bonus.”
Malcom McDowell - Principal Gibbons