“If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?”
Steven Alexander Wright

“If I had my life to live all over again - and I would not want to - I would take love more seriously than I was taught to take it as a kid. I would not throw myself in every corner with any girl I meet. For the rest, I feel I've done the best I could, considering I was born to be a workingman.”
Maurice Chevalier

“I want to be a jerk like the rest of my friends, and have fun, and not care about the consequences, but I just can't now.”
Leonardo DiCaprio

“If I were a serious person, I'd probably have a real job.”
Harrison Ford

“If you catch me saying 'I am a serious actor', I beg you to slap me.”
Johnny Depp