- Mary's Dad: Is it the "frank" or the "beans"?
- Ted: I don't know, both I guess.
- Warren: [from outside] "Franks" and "beans"! "Franks" and "beans"!
- Mary's Dad: Oh man! How'd you get the "beans" above the "frank"?

Keith David - Mary's Dad
Ben Stiller - Ted
W. Earl Brown - Warren

“- Stefan Vanderhoof: They had the same prance, the same rhythm, it was like they were two members of the same body.
- Scott Donlan: I knew a guy who had two members on the same body, dated him for about a half hour, got so exhausted. I'm sorry, go on, you were telling a story?”

Michael McKean - Stefan Vanderhoof
John Michael Higgins - Scott Donlan

“I don't know why you going home to your wife. You got shot in the leg, your dick probably don't even work.”
Will Smith - Mike Lowrey

“- Ramon: You have to say something nice about my penis!
- Romy White: Oh, Ramon! Your penis is so powerful! I'm coming! Okay, thanks, get off me now.”
Jacob Vargas - Ramon
Mira Sorvino - Romy White

“- Joseph: Boys have a penis, and girls have a vagina.
- Phoebe: Well, I see you've covered the basics.”
Miko Hughes - Joseph
Pamela Reed - Phoebe