“I passed up a gay Halloween party to be here. Do you know how much fun gay Halloween parties are? Last year I saw three Jonas Brothers make out with three Robert Pattinsons. It was amazing.”

Aubrey Plaza - April Ludgate

“- Ethan: Will everybody at the prom be gay?
- Jonah: Yeah. That's why they call it the gay and lesbian prom, moron.”
Skyler Fortgang - Ethan
Ezra Miller - Jonah

“- Guy Cipriani: No wedding!
- Connie Cipriani: We got 300 people coming here.
- Guy Cipriani: Good, they come here, they eat, they drink, they sing, they go the fuck home! Sorry!”
Paul Sorvino - Guy Cipriani
Veronica Cartwright - Connie Cipriani

“Fabulous party. You know, I haven't seen this much love in a room since Narcissus discovered himself.”
Paul Shaffer - Hermes; the Messenger God

“- Zeus: Aw, Hades, don't be such a stiff. Join the celebration.
- Hades: Love to, babe. But unlike you gods lounging about up here, I regretfully have a full-time job that you, by the way, so charitably bestowed on me, Zeus. So, can't. Love to, but can't.”

Rip Torn - Zeus
James Woods - Hades