“- Joanne Herring: He may be in trouble with the press, but he stayed out of jail. You don't see God's hand in this?
- Gust Avrakotos: Well reasonable people can disagree, but I don't see God anywhere within miles of this. On the other hand, if you slept with me tonight, I bet you I could change my mind in a hurry.”
Julia Roberts - Joanne Herring
Philip Seymour Hoffman - Gust Avrakotos

“- Aunt Edna: You're the ones who sent me the fruitcake for Christmas. It made me so sick!
- Ellen Griswold: Oh, we're sorry. We thought you enjoyed fruitcake.
- Aunt Edna: Do you enjoy throwing up every five minutes Claude?”
Imogene Coca - Aunt Edna
Beverly D'Angelo - Ellen Griswold

“- Clark Griswold: Excuse me, could you please tell me how to get back on the express way?
- Pimp: Fuck yo mama!
- Clark Griswold: Thank you very much.”
Chevy Chase - Clark Griswold

“- Bud: How are you gonna get home?
- Sissy: I got a thumb, I got a middle finger!”
John Travolta - Bud
Debra Winger - Sissy

“Do you have bathrooms here or do I have to shit in a plant?”
Peter Dante - Dante