“I'll tell you my approach to medicine! It is a game in which man pits his brains against the forces of destruction and disease.”

Claude Rains - Dr. Alexander Tower

“I remember when I was a kid, there were two medicines: aspirin and Campho-Phenique, that was it. They advertise these prescriptions, and half the time, the side effects are 50 times worse than what the thing cures!”
Jeff Foxworthy - Himself

“You can survive a stroke, but the high prices of medicine will give you a heart attack.”
Bernie Mac - Mitch Gilliam

“Listen. I don't care what you say. Chlamydia is a soup. It's my opinion. I can have that if I'd like. You don't have to argue. I've seen it on the grocery store shelf. Don't argue with me about it. I don't care if you are a doctor.”
Tim meadows - Leon Phelps

“- Thurman Rice: There's a cure for syphilis... and it's called abstinence.
- Alfred Kinsey: Penicillin works just as well!”
Tim Curry - Thurman Rice
Liam Neeson - Alfred Kinsey