Jeff Foxworthy quotes
My wife and I, we love watching Dateline, those shows where every week they will feature a disease. I swear to you, every week, no matter what the disease is, my wife has it. There could be three people on the planet that have this disease, my wife is one of them. She just watches it going "I've got it."
“He's a killing machine disguised as an idiot!”
“A glorious absence of sophistication. It can be full-time or part-time, but we're all guilty of it at some time or another. And if you're not guilty of it, then you have relatives who are.”
If you think "Silence Of The Lambs" is what happens when Larry goes out to the barn, you might be a redneck.
It is so rare that I am at a loss for words, the only response I could come up with was, I said "I'll bet that is the first time in history the headline of the paper could include the words 'beaver' and 'nipple' and nobody would be offended by it".
If you think "fast food" is hitting a deer at 65 miles an hour, you might be a redneck.
“If you think a 401k is your mother-in-law's bra size, you might be a redneck.”
“I believe that no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, you can not baptize cats.”
“If you think N'Sync is where your dirty dishes are, you might be a redneck.”
“If you missed fifth grade graduation because you had jury duty, you might be a redneck.”
“I believe the only thing worse than having diarrhea is trying to have it quietly in a public bathroom.”
If you have a full set of salad bowls and they all say "cool whip" on the side, you might be a redneck.
“If you work without a shirt on and so does your husband, you might be a redneck.”