Bernie Mac quotes
“Sometimes when you lose you win, son. Failure is just life's way of preparing you for success.”
“Hugs aren't like pieces of pie. Plenty of hugs to go around.”
Boy, just be yourself. If people don't like you for being yourself... Fuck 'em! Let me tell you something. I scored with a girl when I was about your age. I try to please her poppa all the time; wen' out my way to please her poppa. I came in one day, I said, "Nice weather we having". He said, "You can't say that. You can't say that; it might... (continue)(continue reading)
“You gotta dress for the job you want, not the job you got.”
“- Ashtray: We didn't even do nothing.
- Officer Self Hatred: What? You think you tough?
[pulls gun on Ashtray]
- Officer Self Hatred: You ain't so tough now, little nigga. I hate your black bastards, you stink! I hate your black skin. I hate your black pants. I hate black pepper. I hate black keys on a piano. I hate my gums, because they're...” (continue)(continue reading)
“Blue you ain't nothing! You don't deserve nut-zin, you don't get nothing. You get what I give you. I got a contract between me and you that say you do what I tell you to do. Therefore, shut the fuck, don't say nothin to me, don't even look at me. Tell you what, you better get on up outta my office and outta my face, before you get swole.”
“If you don't bust a nut when I bust a nut... then you fresh outta fuckin' luck!”
“- Makunga: Look at it this way. After I defeat you and take your place as alpha lion, you'll have that much more time to spend with your pathetic excuse of a son.
- Zuba: Before I kick your butt again, tell me why you want to be alpha lion?
- Makunga: I'm better looking, I have better hair, I'm deceitfully smart, and I want everyone to do what I...” (continue)(continue reading)
“- Zuba: Love transcends all boundaries. We are here to celebrate such a love. Do you two take each other for better or worse?
- Skipper: For better, please.”
“- Charles Townsend: I hope the Angels aren't being too rough on you.
- Jimmy Bosley: Man, please. I date fat women. What you talkin' 'bout?”
“There's no such thing as white-collar crime. And there's definitely no such thing as black-on-black crime. Crime is crime. Let me explain something to you. I don't care if you have a white collar or a tank top. If you rob me, I'm gonna whup your ass.”
“I'm a lot of things. A liar's not one of them. Especially not in front of my mammy.”
“If you're gonna marry one of these women, sometimes it's gonna hurt like hell. And all you can do is admit that you're wrong and know that she's always right.”
They might as well call it "whitejack"!
“- Jay: What do you get when you cross one million lesbians and the million man march?
- Wendell: Two million mother-fuckers who don't do dick.”
“- Blue: I just don't understand exactly why you're charging me twenty percent interest on the money that you loaned me, when you already taking thirty percent out of my check.
- Dollar Bill: Welcome to the strippin' game, partner. Blue, you ain't nothin'. All you do is spin records, that's all you do. Who'd you think you are, DJ Quick? Kid...” (continue)(continue reading)