“- Mr. Briggs: Hey, uhh... I might be late to pick you guys up.
- Janey Briggs: Why, do you have a job interview today, Daddy?
- Mr. Briggs: No honey, I'll probably just be way too drunk.”
Randy Quaid - Mr. Briggs
Randy Quaid - Janey Briggs

“- Bob Sheldon: Just because we got a little drunk!
- Cherry Valance: A little? You call reeling and passing out in the streets a little? Bob, I told you, I'm never going out with you when you're drinking again and I mean it!”
Leif Garrett - Bob Sheldon
Diane Lane - Cherry Valance

“I can't feel my legs, I have no legs!”

Charlie Korsmo - William Lichter

“- Preston: This is officially the worst night of my entire life. Thank you very much.
- The Angel: Try having forty drunk men grabbing your ass, one groom to be throwing up all over you and then have your car break down at 2am and then you can talk to me about having a bad night, ok?”
Ethan Embry - Preston Meyers
Ethan Embry - The Angel

“- Dottie Hinson: What did you do to her?
- Doris Murphy - 3rd Base: Nothin', we just gave her a dress.
- Mae Mordabito: And a lotta liquor!”

Geena Davis - Dottie Hinson
Rosie O'Donnell - Doris Murphy - 3rd Base
Madonna - Mae Mordabito