“- Lex: Just because she's a female gynecologist, doesn't mean she's a lesbian. And even if she was, at least my mom didn't give birth to me while she was on LSD.
- Trip: 'Shrooms!”
Giuseppe Andrews - Lex
James DeBello - Trip

“- Claire: How did you lose your license?
- Dr. Eugene Sands: I was operating on a patient and the patient died.
- Claire: Was it your fault?
- Dr. Eugene Sands: I was under the influence of narcotics and methamphetamines at the time, so yes, you could say it was my fault.”
Angelina Jolie - Claire
David Duchovny - Dr. Eugene Sands

“Laudanum is a derivative of opium. Apart from doctors and addicts, not many would be able to detect it. How long have you been chasing the dragon, Inspector?”
Sir Ian Holm - Sir William Gull

“- Egbert Sousé: Hello, Doc. How are ya? How's business?
- Dr. Stall: Fair, fair. I don't suppose we'll ever get another whooping cough epidemic again.”
W.C. Fields - Egbert Sousé
Harlan Briggs - Dr. Stall

“- Peter Kirk: Are there many lady doctors?
- Helen Hunt: A few.
- Peter Kirk: As beautiful as you?
- Helen Hunt: No doubt.
- Peter Kirk: The time I've wasted being well.”
Henry Fonda - Peter Kirk
Barbara Stanwyck - Helen Hunt