“Terri likes to talk to me during sex. Last night she called me from the hotel.”
Gary Sinise - Commander Kevin Dunne

“- Scott Calvin: Hey, Charlie, you know how to call 911?
- Charlie: Sure, 9-1-1.”
Tim Allen - Scott Calvin
Eric Lloyd - Charlie

“- Al Percolo: You don't have to yell, this is a different phone.
- Ron Wilson: It has nothing to do with the phone, I just like yelling at you.”
Albert Brooks - Al Percolo
Lane Smith - Ron Wilson

“Take your phone off now, you're with a human being.”

Lily Tomlin - Janet

“Somebody took my phone number and called Afghanistan. I've never talked to anyone in Afghanistan, I don't know nobody in Afghanistan, and even if did know anyone, I wouldn't talk to that Afghan ass for three hours. I won't talk to my daddy for three hours.”
Chris Rock - Detective Lee Butters