“- Margaret Tate: I have never farted in front of him. Nor will I ever fart in front of him.
- Andrew Paxton: She farts in her sleep.”
Sandra Bullock - Margaret Tate
Ryan Reynolds - Andrew Paxton

“So now you got the whole jock and bimbo population showing up? That will be fun. I just didn't think you'd conform so fast.”
Shia LaBeouf - Kale

“We're all sort of fellow travelers in a mighty small boat, in a mighty big ocean. And the more we quarrel, criticize and misunderstand each other, the bigger the ocean gets and the smaller the boat.”
Henry Hull - Charles J. Rittenhouse

“I'm way out of your league. If your league were to explode, I wouldn't hear the sound for another three days. So for everybody's sake, let's just enjoy a companionable silence.”
Sonya Walger - Nicole Noone

“- Jake: [describing April to Billy] She was a fun ride, no doubt about it, but she is a previously owned vehicle and I'm into that new car smell.
- Jessica: You asshole!
- Jessica: Whoever left these towels here is an asshole.”
Eric Christian Olsen - Jake
Rob Schneider - Jessica