“- Worm: What did I ever do to that guy?
- Mike McDermott: You fucked his mother.
- Worm: [amused] Yeah but she was a good looking older woman you gotta give me that.”
Edward Norton - Worm
Matt Damon - Mike McDermott

“Had my dream again where I'm making love, and the Olympic judges are watching. I'd nailed the compulsories, so this is it, the finals. I got a 9.8 from the Canadians, a perfect 10 from the Americans, and my mother, disguised as an East German judge, gave me a 5.6. Must have been the dismount.”
Billy Crystal - Harry Burns

“Can I get you guys anything? Some snacks? A condom? Let me know! Oh, God love ya.”

Amy Poehler - Mrs. George

“- Donna: Did you hear that sick sound?
- Cozzie: Yeah, it was creepy. Probably your mom howling out her anti-sex warning.”
Trish Doolan - Donna
Gene Bicknell - Cozzie

“I made love to your mother about half an hourago, and now I'm beginning to think that maybe it wasn't such a good idea.”

Thomas Jay Ryan - Henry Fool