“- Pat Candy: Jane Bodine.
- Jane: Pat.
- Pat Candy: So, what you're doing here? I thought you retired, or gave up or something.
- Jane: What happened to your hair?
- Pat Candy: So you still got a great sense of humor.”
Billy Bob Thornton - Pat Candy
Sandra Bullock - Jane

“You and I exist on opposite sides of a great existential divide, that being your pathetic virginity on the one hand and my astonishing number of sexual conquests on the other. You're simply jealous.”

David Krumholtz - Francis Davenport

“- Matt Gavin: She said you were a terrible lover.
- David Corelli: She lied to protect your frail ego.
- Matt Gavin: She said that's why she chose me.
- David Corelli: Everybody make mistakes.”
Chazz Palminteri - Matt Gavin
David Caruso - David Corelli

“Too bad you couldn't keep your mouth shut about our sex life! It only gets better.”
Gina Gershon - Coral

“- Roy: Just because you're familiar with the missionary position doesn't make you a missionary.
- Claudia: Look, Mr. Munster, you're not exactly the smartest guy I ever ran across.
- Roy: Oh yeah? And who are you, Alfred Einstein?”
Woody Harrelson - Roy Munson
Vanessa Angel - Claudia