“I was more than mildly insulted. Just because I'm a mortician she had the audacity to insinuate that I might have knowledge of the black arts!”
Jack Albertson - William G. Dobbs

“- Madame Therese De Farge: Do you know who I am?
- Miss Pross: You might - from your appearance - be the wife of Lucifer.”

Blanche Yurka - Madame Therese De Farge
Edna May Oliver - Miss Pross

“I haven't seen you since a month. I have seen the new moon, but not you. I have seen sunsets and sunrises, but nothing of your beautiful face.”
Heath Ledger - William Thatcher

“We met at Starbucks. Not at the same Starbucks but we saw each other at different Starbucks across the street from each other.”
Parker Posey - Meg Swan

“- Peter McCallister: Hey Kevin, you better go put your tie on. We don't wanna be late for the Christmas pageant.
- Kevin McCallister: My tie is in the bathroom and I can't go in because UncleFrank is taking a shower. He says that if I walked in there and saw him naked, I'd grow up never feeling like a real man.”
John Heard - Peter McCallister
Macaulay Culkin - Kevin McCallister