“- Bob Wilson: I didn't know you smoked.
- Nick Pirandello: Just after sex, Bob. I'm trying to give it up.
- Bob Wilson: Well, at least you don't smoke that much.
- Nick Pirandello: About a pack a day.”
John Ritter - Bob Wilson
Jim Belushi - Nick Pirandello

“- Suzanne Vale: Can I ask you something personal?
- Evelyn Ames: You mean asking me who I have sex with isn't personal anymore? What do you want to know, if I smoke?”
Meryl Streep - Suzanne Vale
Annette Bening - Evelyn Ames

“- Tom Sanders: I did not have sex with her!
- Susan Hendler: Oh, then what was it Tom? She was trying to quit smoking?”
Michael Douglas - Tom Sanders
Caroline Goodall - Susan Hendler

“Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.”
Woody Allen

“- Abbott: Put that out. There's no smoking in here.
- Costello: What makes you think I'm smoking?
- Abbott: You've got a cigar in your mouth!
- Costello: I've got shoes on... it doesn't mean I'm walking.”
Bud Abbott - Abbott
Lou Costello - Costello