John Ritter quotes
“Isn't that what's wrong with the world today? People are just looking for the easy way out, like their problems are gonna go away? Problems just don't go, Flo! You know? So the question here is: what are we going to do with our little problemchild? I'll tell you what we are going to do. Something that no parent has ever done for him before....” (continue)(continue reading)
“- Ben Healy: Junior, now you get out of this car! You are going to school.
- Junior Healy: No way I'd rather eat a turd!”
“- Zach: We both know you're not going to shoot. You couldn't hurt a fly.
- Angie: I could if I caught it fucking my hairdresser!”
“- Zach: Give me a suggestion because I know you've got one. I can see it in those beady little Freudian eyes.
- Dr. Westford: If an alcoholic wants me to cure him, you know what I say?
- Zach: That's a question. That's not a suggestion... Okay. What do you say?
- Dr. Westford: First, stop drinking.
- Zach: I don't get it.
- Dr. Westford: Go home...” (continue)(continue reading)
“My doctor was right. Doughnuts will be the death of me.”
“Where are you going to go, your cartoon mother's house?”
“- Charles Rutledge: I really like you Christy.
- Christy Miller: Yeah, I know. Why don't we keep it that way, huh?
- Charles Rutledge: You think?
- Christy Miller: Yeah, I guess so. Why don't you kiss me anyway, it's such a nice afternoon.”
“- Zach: What would you do if I told you I've been celibate for six months?
- Alex: Cross my legs.”
“- Roy Knable: For a mouse, you, um, look pretty sexy.
- Helen Knable: Too bad you didn't like the way I looked when I was human.
- Roy Knable: I always did.
- Helen Knable: News to me.”
“- Zach: What have you got against my typewriter?
- Alex: You used to write on it. Books and plays and movies. Once, once you wrote me a poem on our 2nd anniversary and gave it to me. And you were happy. You exorcised your demons with credible thoughts and good words on that typewriter, and your talent turned me on. I really thought we had a...” (continue)(continue reading)
“- Garry Lejeune: Lloyd, let me just say one thing, since we've stopped. I've worked with a lotta directors, Lloyd. Some of them were geniuses, some of them were bastards. But I've never met one who was so totally and absolutely... I don't know.
- Lloyd Fellowes: Thank you Gary, I'm very touched. Now will you get off the fucking stage?”
“- Zach: I want a loving, faithful, caring, caretaking wife, and I wanna make love to everything else in long skirts, with bare feet and ripe, juicy mouths. Little boy-girls with small firm breasts and tight asses. Rubensque round women with big Mother Earth breasts and green eyes. God! I could go on and on.
- Barney: Don't. I'm getting a...” (continue)(continue reading)
“- Zach: You know what I feel like saying to you?
- Dr. Westford: Yes. You feel like telling me to go fuck myself, and you probably will, because it's your character.
- Zach: See you next Tuesday.”
“- Zach: You are such a prick!
- Sparky: Most of my friends are pricks.
- Zach: Most of your pricks are friends.”
“- Lonnie: I love your sense of humor.
- Zach: And it loves you.”
“Not being able to write is like not being able to screw.”
“- Nick Pirandello: You've got a sense of humor Bob... I like that in a man.
- Bob Wilson: What do you like in a woman?
- Nick Pirandello: Big tits.”
“- Bob Wilson: I didn't know you smoked.
- Nick Pirandello: Just after sex, Bob. I'm trying to give it up.
- Bob Wilson: Well, at least you don't smoke that much.
- Nick Pirandello: About a pack a day.”
“There is a God! And he's a gag-writer!”