“- Bill Gambini: You have to see the Gambinis in action. I mean, these people, they love to argue. I mean, they live to argue.
- Stan Rothenstein: My parents argue too, it doesn't make them good lawyers.
- Bill Gambini: Stan, I've seen your parents argue. Trust me, they're amateurs.”
Ralph Macchio - Bill Gambini

“Everyone thinks that you are guilty. Even the mailman is looking at you a little funny. There's only one person who can help you. There's only one person who you can trust, your lawyer.”

Ron Silver - Alan Dershowitz

“- North: Do I need a lawyer?
- Winchell: North, this is America. Everybody needs a lawyer.”
Elijah Wood - North
Matthew McCurley - Winchell

“For years the government has been wisely coercing teenagers to buy products they normally wouldn't want, just to get their money.”
Eugene Levy - Eugene Levy

“Kids today aren't dumb. They're not gonna buy just anything. That's why the government has been planting small subliminal advertising suggestions in today's rock music.”
Eugene Levy - Eugene Levy