“My Cousin Vinny” quotes

(1992)
Movie My Cousin Vinny
Jonathan Lynn directed this movie in 1992
Title My Cousin Vinny
Year 1992
Director Jonathan Lynn
Genre Comedy, Crime
Plot – Bill and Stan go shopping in a supermarket, but after a while they are stopped by the police and charged with theft and murder: in the supermarket, in fact, two guys killed the cashier. Their defense is entrusted to Bill’s cousin Vincent, a lawyer who has the nerve, but with little experience. This comedy often looks like ironical, but it has also truly irresistible moments, especially thanks to Joe Pesci’s great performance. Marisa Tomei won an Oscar for best protagonist.
All actors – Joe Pesci, Ralph Macchio, Marisa Tomei, Mitchell Whitfield, Fred Gwynne, Lane Smith, Austin Pendleton, Bruce McGill, Maury Chaykin, Paulene Myers, Raynor Scheine, James Rebhorn
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  • “- Jim Trotter III: Ms. Vito, what is your current profession?
    - Mona Lisa Vito: I'm an out-of-work hairdresser.
    - Jim Trotter III: An out-of-work hairdresser. In what way does that qualify you as an expert in automobiles?
    - Mona Lisa Vito: It doesn't.”

    Lane Smith - Jim Trotter III
    Marisa Tomei - Mona Lisa Vito
    [Tag:job, talent]
  • “It's a procedure. Like rebuilding a carburetor has a procedure. You know, when you rebuild a carburetor, the first thing you do is you take the carburetor off the manifold? Supposing you skip the first step, and while you're replacing one of the jets, you accidentally drop the jet, it goes down the carburetor, rolls along the manifold, and goes...” (continue)(continue reading)
    Joe Pesci - Vinny Gambini
  • “- Mona Lisa Vito: Don't worry, I'll find a way to bail you out.
    - Vinny Gambini: No don't. I'm gonna stay in prison tonight. Maybe I'll finally get some sleep. I'm doing good, huh?”

    Marisa Tomei - Mona Lisa Vito
    Joe Pesci - Vinny Gambini
  • “- Bill Gambini: At my cousin Ruthie's wedding, the groom's brother was that guy Alakazam. You know who I'm talking about?
    - Stan Rothenstein: The magician with the ponytail?
    - Bill Gambini: Right. Well, he did his act, and every time he made something disappear, Vinny jumped on him. I mean, he nailed him! It was like, it's in his pocket, or he's...” (continue)
    (continue reading)

    Ralph Macchio - Bill Gambini
    Mitchell Whitfield - Stan Rothenstein
  • “- Vinny Gambini: I won my first case, you know what this means...
    - Mona Lisa Vito: Yeah, you think I'm gonna marry you.
    - Vinny Gambini: What, now you're not gonna marry me?
    - Mona Lisa Vito: No way. You can't even win a case by yourself, you're fuckin' useless.”

    Joe Pesci - Vinny Gambini
    Marisa Tomei - Mona Lisa Vito
  • “- Vinny Gambini: Uh... everything that guy just said is bullshit... Thank you.
    - Jim Trotter III: Objection. Counsel's entire opening statement is argumentative.
    - Judge Chamberlain Haller: Sustained. Counselor's entire opening statement... with the exception of thank you... will be stricken from the record.”

    Joe Pesci - Vinny Gambini
    Lane Smith - Jim Trotter III
    Fred Gwynne - Judge Chamberlain Haller
  • “- Stan Rothenstein: No, you're being booked for shoplifting. I'm being booked for accessory to shoplifting.
    - Bill Gambini: No Stan, I'm being booked for murder, you're being booked for accessory to murder.”

    Mitchell Whitfield - Stan Rothenstein
    Ralph Macchio - Bill Gambini
  • Support? Is that what you want? I'm sorry, you were wonderful in there! The way you handled that judge... ooh you are a smooth talker. You are... you are!”
    Marisa Tomei - Mona Lisa Vito
  • “- Judge Chamberlain Haller: When you come into my court looking like you do, you not only insult me, but you insult the integrity of this court!
    - Vinny Gambini: I apologise, sir, but, uh... this is how I dress.
    - Judge Chamberlain Haller: Fine. I'll let you off this one time. The next time you appear in my court, you will look lawyerly. And I...” (continue)
    (continue reading)
    Fred Gwynne - Judge Chamberlain Haller
    Joe Pesci - Vinny Gambini
    [Tag:clothes, court, insult]
  • “- Vinny Gambini: Lisa, I don't need this. I swear to God, I do not need this right now, okay? I've got a judge that's just aching to throw me in jail. An idiot who wants to fight me for two hundred dollars. Slaughtered pigs. Giant loud whistles. I ain't slept in five days. I got no money, a dress code problem, and a little murder case which, in...” (continue)(continue reading)
    Joe Pesci - Vinny Gambini
    Marisa Tomei - Mona Lisa Vito
  • “- Vinny Gambini: What's this over here?
    - Grits Cook: You never heard of grits?
    - Vinny Gambini: Sure, I've heard of grits. I just never actually seen a grit before.”

    Joe Pesci - Vinny Gambini
    Lou Walker - Grits Cook
  • “No self-respectin' Southerner uses instant grits. I take pride in my grits.”

    Maury Chaykin - Sam Tipton
  • “Okay, you're helping. We'll use your pictures. Ah! These are gonna be, you know, I'm sorry, these are going to be a help. I should have looked at these pictures before. I like this, uh, this is our first hotel room, right? That'll intimidate Trotter. Here's one of me from behind. And I didn't think I could feel worse than I did a couple of...” (continue)(continue reading)
    Joe Pesci - Vinny Gambini
  • “- Vinny Gambini: Your Honor, may I have permission to treat Ms. Vito as a hostile witness?
    - Mona Lisa Vito: You think I'm hostile now, wait 'til you see me tonight.
    - Judge Chamberlain Haller: Do you two know each other?
    - Vinny Gambini: Yeah, she's my fiancée.
    - Judge Chamberlain Haller: Well, that would certainly explain the hostility.”

    Joe Pesci - Vinny Gambini
    Marisa Tomei - Mona Lisa Vito
    Fred Gwynne - Judge Chamberlain Haller
  • “- Stan Rothenstein: You think I should be grateful?
    - Vinny Gambini: Yeah, it's your ass, not mine. I think you should be grateful. I think you should be down on your fuckin' knees.
    - Stan Rothenstein: I didn't know it was such an honor to get a visit from you.”

    Mitchell Whitfield - Stan Rothenstein
    Joe Pesci - Vinny Gambini
  • “- Mona Lisa Vito: What the fuck is going on here, Vinny? You fucking up this case or what?
    - Vinny Gambini: I explained it to you already, didn't I? It's a procedure. I'm learning all this as I go along. I'm bound to fuck up a little.
    - Mona Lisa Vito: A little? You've been thrown in jail twice!”

    Marisa Tomei - Mona Lisa Vito
    Joe Pesci - Vinny Gambini
  • “Well, I got a bullshit traffic ticket. I went to court, I got the cop on the stand, and I argued with him until he admitted he was wrong. And the judge, this Judge Malloy. All the while he's laughing and smiling. And then afterwards, he asks me to go to lunch with him. Then he says to me, you know what? You'd be a good litigator. I didn't know...” (continue)(continue reading)

    Joe Pesci - Vinny Gambini
  • “- Mona Lisa Vito: I want a wedding in church with bridesmaids and flowers.
    - Vinny Gambini: Whoa. How many times did you say that spontaneous is romantic?
    - Mona Lisa Vito: Hey, a burp is spontaneous. A burp is not romantic.”

    Marisa Tomei - Mona Lisa Vito
    Joe Pesci - Vinny Gambini
  • “When you look at the bricks from the right angle, they're as thin as this playing card. His whole case is an illusion, a magic trick. It has to be an illusion, 'cause you're innocent. Nobody - I mean nobody - pulls the wool over the eyes of a Gambini, especially this one. Give me a chance, one chance. Let me question the first witness. If after...” (continue)(continue reading)

    Joe Pesci - Vinny Gambini
  • “- Bill Gambini: You have to see the Gambinis in action. I mean, these people, they love to argue. I mean, they live to argue.
    - Stan Rothenstein: My parents argue too, it doesn't make them good lawyers.
    - Bill Gambini: Stan, I've seen your parents argue. Trust me, they're amateurs.”

    Ralph Macchio - Bill Gambini
    [Tag:family, lawyers, trust]
  • “- Vinny Gambini: What about these pants I got on, you think they're ok? Oh!
    - Mona Lisa Vito: Imagine you're a deer. You're prancing along, you get thirsty, you spot a little brook, you put your little deer lips down to the cool clear water... bam! A fuckin' bullet rips off part of your head! Your brains are laying on the ground in little bloody...” (continue)
    (continue reading)

    Joe Pesci - Vinny Gambini
    Marisa Tomei - Mona Lisa Vito
  • “You know, this could be a sign of things to come. You win all your cases, but with somebody else's help, right? You win case after case, and then afterwards you have to go up to somebody and you have to say, thank you. Oh, my God, what a fucking nightmare!”
    Marisa Tomei - Mona Lisa Vito
  • “You're the jury. It's your job to decide who's telling the truth. Truth. That's what 'verdict' means. It's a word comes down from Old England and all our little old ancestors.”
    Lane Smith - Jim Trotter III
    [Tag:court, judgment, trial]
  • “So, here are my options. Option a: I get my ass kicked, or option b: I kick your ass and collect the 200. I think I'm gonna go with option b: kickin' your ass and collecting $200.”
    Joe Pesci - Vinny Gambini
Highlights