“What planet are you from, sugar tits? Saturn with the rings around your head?”

Penn Fraser Jillette - Bone

“- Augustus 'Gus' McCrae: Oh, I had a job waitin' tables once. S' on a riverboat. I wasn't no older than Newt, there, but I hadda give it up.
- Newt Dobbs: How come?
- Augustus 'Gus' McCrae: Well I was, too young and pretty and the whores wouldn't let me alone.”
Robert Duvall - Augustus 'Gus' McCrae
Ricky Schroder - Newt Dobbs

“- Augustus 'Gus' McCrae: Is that all you boys can think about; gettin' to Ogallala and spendin' your money on whores?
- Jasper Fant: That's all right for you, Gus; you got Lorena with you. What about the rest of us?
- Augustus 'Gus' McCrae: What's good for me might not be good for the weak minded.”
Robert Duvall - Augustus 'Gus' McCrae
Barry Tubb - Jasper Fant

“And I’m gonna tell you something, this pimpin' that I got in my blood, it came from a family tree. My granddaddy was a pimp. My great-great-great-granddaddy was a pimp. I'm talking 'bout pimpin' since been pimpin' since been pimpin'!”
Mike Epps - Baby Powder

“- Alex: You've been spending our rent money on Filipino hookers?
- Josh: They're not hookers! They're massage therapists.”
Allen Covert - Alex
Jonathan Loughran - Josh