“- Daphne Blake: Those zombies are just the poor souls you drained! They were just trying to warn us so that we wouldn't suffer the same fate they did!
- Simone Lenoir: Pretty smart for a television reporter.”
Mary Kay Bergman - Daphne Blake
Adrienne Barbeau - Simone Lenoir

“Spare him, my lord Rayden. American life has enfeebled his mind. Too much television.”
Lloyd Kino - Grandfather

- Buffy Gilmore: Hey do you think the press is gonna wanna talk to us?
- Brenda Meeks: Oh please. The press only wanna interview the most ignorant person they find.
- Shorty Meeks: I'm on T.V. Oh shit, first "Cops" now this. I'm gonna be a star, son.
Shannon Elizabeth - Buffy Gilmore
Regina Hall - Brenda Meeks
Marlon Wayans - Shorty Meeks

“I am not stupid. Heh, heh. I just enjoy giving the appearance of being stupid. You see, from an early age I've reveled in the appearance of stupidity which is given me a great deal of time to think. So I been thinking... No more TV. No more TV dinners. If you like, no more baseball.”
Gary Busey - The Ballplayer

“Am I being punk’d? Oh my god! Ashton, you really got me! Ha Ha! Ashton! Ashton?”
Anna Faris - Samantha James